


chirrups

by guan_lupe



Category: Cats - Andrew Lloyd Webber, Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats - T. S. Eliot
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Rescue, Witches
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-02
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:42:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23113399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/guan_lupe/pseuds/guan_lupe
Summary: REPOST! The night before Walpurgis Night, Rum Tum Tugger asks Mr. Mistoffelees for magical assistance in rescuing a kitten. No slash, unless you *really* read into it. Misto/OFC
Relationships: Mr. Mistoffelees/OFC
Kudos: 6





	1. coffee cup

The spring night is dewy and the lamplights make the fluffy magnolia buds fluorescent. Mistoffelees lays on the cool cobblestone, observing the curious activities within Portobello Road's terrace houses at midnight.

The witch-woman who owns the apothecary comes forth from a nearby house to shake dust out of a thick woven blanket with elaborate patterns. It makes the Conjuring Cat sneeze and scurry to his feet. He then arches his back, stretching.

"We're going to try flying on Walpurga's Night, Mephisto," the witch explains. "Sorry, dear."

Mistoffelees meows in approval, circling in place and dropping again into a laying position.

"You wouldn't want to attend, would you?" the woman asks, grinning. "I know how shy you can be. Wouldn't want you to feel pressure or discomfort."

Mistoffelees rolls onto his back, yawning in gratitude. He stretches out his whole corpus, indulging in the pleasurable position. He remains on his back and looks upside down at the witch, who only laughs. She retreats back inside and then emerges again with a treat Mistoffelees sniffs immediately from afar: a plate of sweetened condensed milk!

The Bombay trots over and rubs against the human before indulging in lapping up the sweet cream. He permits the woman to stroke his velvety ears and long tail. Once he's finished, he meows and trots off.

Jellicle cats, after all, must never linger long enough for humans to realize how much they understand.

He leaps up onto the windowsill of a curmudgeonly old man who Mistoffelees knows can always use company during the spring nights when it's "neither hot, nor cold, and so how am I to know how high to turn the heater, while the weatherman makes nothing but useless conjectures?"

But, he hears close by a chirruping that turns his attention to the street.

"Rum Tum!" Mistoffelees chirrups in return. He sees the Maine Coon, the Curious Cat, sitting on his haunches with a recently-killed rabbit's throat in his teeth. He hops down.

Rum Tum Tugger meets him in the bushes. He drops his kill.

"I know the humans don't want them to die, but it's young and so tender. Wait, I smell-"

"Yes, yes, the Portobello witch gave me condensed milk." Mistoffelees is self-conscious that he hasn't cleaned his muzzle enough. He wanted the taste and smell to linger for himself.

Rum Tum whines and then bunts his nose against Mistoffelees', chasing the taste. Mistoffelees shakes him off and cleans himself with his paw.

"Thank you for tainting the nice little memory."

"Doesn't it go nicely with the rabbit?" Rum Tum bats Mistoffelees' ear. "Aren't you going to ask me what I'm up to?"

The Bombay cocks his head. His golden eyes blink slowly at his best friend, in wonderment.

"This isn't for the molly you'll finally settle down with, I imagine?"

"Bast forbid! No, there's a wounded kitten I need your help with. The rabbit's for her."

"Where is she?"

"A little west of here, still within Notting Hill. She doesn't know how to get home. Her leg is broken."

"Take me."

Together, the two toms trot off until they reach a Siamese kitten laying by a fence, nursing a swollen, bloodied hind leg.

"Here, love, don't be afraid." Rum Tum drops the rabbit before the kitten. "My friend Mr. Mistoffelees and I'll help you as best we can. He's got magical powers and knowledge. In the meantime, eat."

The kitten reaches down to the rabbit, but unfortunately can't chew well enough and mewls in agony. Rum Tum chews up some of the meat till it's mushy and offers it to her. She eats.

Meanwhile, Mistoffelees assesses the damage to her leg.

"May I?" 

Between chewing, the Siamese chirrups assent. Mistoffelees gingerly sniffs at the wound, determining it not deep enough for infection. He licks it gently a few times, and then, with his muzzle, feels the delicate bones for the fractures. The kitten shrieks in pain, instinctively swiping at the Bombay, blue eyes flashing.

"The bone is shattered!" Mistoffelees leaps back in fear and surprise. "Only the humans can fix this."

"In the meantime, Mr. Mistoffelees, please do something!"

"Do you own humans?" Mistoffelees asks the Siamese.

"My mother does, yes," replies the kitten. "But, I'm sure I'm far from her and from our home. I got lost, and then wasn't able to climb this fence without getting caught in it."

"You'd said you fainted for a while, didn't you?" Rum Tum asks her.

"Yes. Oh, please, help."

"You must remain very calm in order to allow the humans to bring you to some kind of 'veterinarian' as they call them - unless..." Mistoffelees trails off.

"The Portobello witch, Misto?" Rum Tum ruffles. "She wouldn't think to bring the young lady to the veterinarian; she'd try to heal her on her own and that would turn out worse than if she stayed here and let the dogs come."

"D'you think the majority of Snotting Hill residents would want to rise in the middle of the night to concern themselves with an injured kitten? No, mate. And if we try traipsing through all of London, we'll lose her. The body will go into shock soon. We must hurry." Mistoffelees turns to the kitten and asks, "What's your Name, child?"

"Coffee Cup." 

Rum Tum and Mistoffelees share a look of amusement.

"No, my love, he means your Particular Name - the Second One."

"You mean what my mother and siblings call me? Pilai."

"Good girl. Pilai, I'm going to tell you all about my friend The Rum Tum Tugger." The Conjuring Cat looks up at his friend, wrinkling his nose so his whiskers dance. Rum Tum returns the gesture. "And then he can tell you about me. You must stay conscious."

Rum Tum picks Pilai up by the scruff, and he and Mistoffelees begin running back to Portobello.

"The Rum Tum Tugger, first, is a terrible bore," Mistoffelees sings as they run. At Rum Tum's growl, Mistoffelees laughs, and continues, "Let him in, then he wants to go out. Pilai, he's always on the wrong side of every door!"

The kitten giggles. Rum Tum hands her to Mistoffelees, and for the rest of the journey sings about Mistoffelees's knack for picking cards and rolling dice, disappearing from halls and gardens and roofs and conjuring up kittens out of hats.

When they arrive at the witch's, Pilai is already growing weak, her heartbeat quickening to an alarming pace. The Maine Coon and Bombay yowl, mewl and scratch at the human's door until the woman opens.

* * *

* * *

**to be continued in part ii...**


	2. cheers

"Now I've seen everything!" exclaims the witch, regarding the Maine Coon, the Bombay and the small injured Siamese at her doorstep, all looking up at her.

She takes Pilai into her hands, while Rum Tum and Mistoffelees insist to the kitten that she comply. The two tomcats then mewl at the woman, in ways they know humans understand: "do what's right; help our kind!"

"You've brought her to me, then, for fixin'?" the witch asks them, holding Pilai and assessing the damage to her leg. "Ach, what a mighty responsibility."

Rum Tum takes it upon himself to dash indoors to search out a telephone. He's hit with the scent of various animals (no dogs, thankfully), but definitely another cat. A female.

"Excuse me, madam!" he calls to the invisible feline. "Upon Jellicle code: it's imperative your human use the telephone to ring a veterinarian!"

The house is a warehouse of all kinds of exotic furniture and foreign artifacts. Rum Tum senses the distinctive smell of herbs coming from the kitchen. He eyes warily the caged parrot. He's never seen such a strange fowl, and under different circumstances would be utterly fascinated.

"Where is the telephone, madam? Please, show yourself."

"Rum Tum, you can't merely cross the threshold of a witch without invitation!"

The witch has already come back into the house, and, seeing Rum Tum, laughs.

"Curious, aren't you?" 

Rum Tum meows at her and raises a paw. Can't she understand the gravity of the situation? Pilai is already beginning to contort, unable to withstand the pain.

"Good gods of Egypt, Mistoffelees, come in and help!" Rum Tum calls, tail swishing, looking back at his friend standing at the door.

"I mustn't! It's magicians' code!"

"Gretchen, are ya hearin' all the fuss these cats are makin'?" the witch calls, setting Pilai down on a throw-pillow. She looks back at Mistoffelees, and calls, "And you there, Mephisto, why don't you come in?"

At this signal, Mistoffelees trots in and sits by Rum Tum.

The witch cackles. Then, a mainly-white calico slinks down the stairs, blinking bi-colored eyes at the situation with her human and three new feline guests.

Rum Tum and Mistoffelees notice her lack of a tail; rather, she has a bob resembling that of a rabbit.

A Japanese bob-tail!

"I've been hearing all this fuss," Gretchen answers her human, though in a way Rum Tum and Mistoffelees can understand. Then, she speaks in full-cat to Rum Tum, "What were you saying about a telephone, sir? Ahem, pardon. I'd appreciate if you looked into my eyes rather than at my tail."

"My gaze is rarely underappreciated, miss. I'll have you know." Rum Tum shakes his mane, proud and offended. "Your human should phone the veterinarian, so as to rescue this kitten with a shattered leg from dying. Quickly, we implore you."

Mistoffelees has already taken to licking Pilai and chirruping to her to keep her heart calm.

The witch remarks out loud, "This poor creature won't make it even if I phone the animal doctor." She folds her arms and covers her mouth, pondering her options. "No, but a dot of a mix of cypress, fir and helichrysum'll keep her alive and sleeping; goodness knows, I didn't think I'd be healing cats tonight."

"What's all that?" Rum Tum whispers to Mistoffelees.

"She knows what she's doing," the latter replies. "Those are all natural aides for everything Pilai needs: anti-swelling, muscle repair, circulation and repairing the bones that can still be salvaged."

While the witch runs and opens the apothecary, Gretchen asks the two toms to explain the situation.

"And how would you know about all the herbs my human mentioned?" she asks Mistoffelees once they're done explaining. She herself begins consoling Pilai.

"I was born in the home of an alchemist," Mistoffelees replies.

"I was born in the house of mad poets," remarks Rum Tum, as though it matters. "I'd like to think it gives me my edge."

Gretchen chuckles at Mistoffelees' patronizing yet affectionate look at his friend.

"Hang in there, little one," whispers Rum Tum to Pilai. He pulls her tiny tail with his teeth. "You're going to be all right."

"I want my mother," Pilai whimpers.

Gretchen circles her and then drops beside her, nuzzling her toward her larger body. She grooms her as though she were her own.

The witch returns with a pomade and very gently presses a miniscule amount against Pilai's nose and mouth, and then on her leg.

"There, there," she coos. "See, now, how my Gretchen knows what to do. And, just think to how lucky you are to have had Mephisto and this other handsome fellow bring you to us!" She strokes Pilai's lovely brown ears.

The kitten calms.

"All right, now to call the veterinarian."

Rum Tum hops down off the couch to follow the witch to the phone.

"To be sure she's persistent!" he calls back to Mistoffelees and Gretchen, by way of explanation.

"And to hope for some condensed milk, old boy, or no?" 

Rum Tum hums approvingly. He and the witch disappear into the kitchen.

"Thank you for bringing the child here," Gretchen tells Mistoffelees.

"Thank you for receiving her and us." 

Gretchen nuzzles Pilai, who's falling asleep. She looks up tenderly to Mistoffelees.

"You seem like you'd be a natural father to any litter. How many do you have?"

"None," admits Mistoffelees, ducking his head. "Yet. You, as well, seem like a natural mother. Have you had any of your own?"

"No," replies Gretchen. She makes a little pleasant mewl in the back of her throat, and looks back at Pilai. "Yet."

Mistoffelees slinks nearer to them. Gretchen stretches her neck so she and he may bunt heads and nuzzle noses. They purr and show affection until Mistoffelees can't help but drop beside her with his body pressed against hers. Gretchen whispers her Second Name - Hoshiakari, meaning "starlight" - to him, while he breathes feline promises of future rendezvous on full moons. Hoshiakari promises to always keep her window slightly ajar for him to enter.

Rum Tum holds back a snicker when he re-enters the living room, and Mistoffelees would almost not have noticed him if not for his powers of intuition and his smelling the faint remains of sweet condensed milk. He raises his head and bunts Hoshiakari's head so that she notice the Maine Coon.

Mistoffelees rises to his paws and arches his back in a stretch. He hops down off the couch and tells Rum Tum that Pilai is sleeping. Rum Tum and he then hop back up to Hoshiakari cradling Pilai.

"The veterinarian should be here soon," Rum Tum says.

"Don't you have something you should admit, Tugger?" 

Rum Tum frowns, pondering.

"I'm jealous? A little? ...No?" Mistoffelees bats his head. "All right, all right." He turns to Hoshiakari. "Forgive me, for having rushed in to yours and your human's house to demand things, and for staring at your bob-tail."

Hoshiakari blinks her eyes in acceptance. She reveals her true Name.

Rum Tum bows his magnificent head.

"Hoshiakari. I'm Rum Tum Tugger. And I'm pretty sure you've become acquainted with Mr. Mistoffelees."

He ducks Mistoffelees' paw, and, rather, cautiously approaches Pilai. Reaching down, he licks the space between the kitten's ears.

"I'm glad she'll be all right," he admits.

After the veterinarian arrives, flustered and angry at first and yet tender upon attending to Pilai, Hoshiakari pronounces not only that Pilai will have her shattered bone replaced in a very modern surgery, but also that her human will adopt her. Rum Tum and Mistoffelees rejoice, and bunt heads with the molly. They surround the witch, and rub themselves against her legs, meowing in solidarity.

"I'm sure I'll be seeing more of you lot!" 

Rum Tum bites Mistoffelees' ear, whispering to him, "And the times when you'll be here without her noticing."

"Oh, I'll notice you," the witch proclaims, leaving Rum Tum and Mistoffelees frozen in shock.

Hoshiakari chitters and snickers, rubbing against her human.

"Perhaps we'll see you two on Walpurga's Night?"

As the toms walk down the length of Portobello Road, the grey morning mist settles, and Mistoffelees notices Rum Tum exhibiting a lethargy unlike he'd ever witnessed.

"I miss my kittens," the older tom admits. He pauses to lick his paw.

Mistoffelees understands. Many mollies in London were being swayed by the idea that cats should be more human-like and practice monogamy, something Rum Tum couldn't possibly adhere to. The Bombay knew it wasn't because his friend didn't love the mothers of his litters, but, rather, that to betray his own nature would divide him.

Cats are cats, after all.

But the Maine Coon had been forbidden to visit one of his litters after its mother learned he'd fathered another one.

"Chirrup," Mistoffelees tells him.

"Chirrup, or cheer up?"

"Chirrup, cheer up;" Mistoffelees sits on his haunches, the morning light illuminating his and Rum Tum's mercuric cat-eyes, and he turns his head up to the sky; "chin up."

Rum Tum mimics him, and Mistoffelees pounces on him and digs gentle fangs into his silky throat, front paws pushing him down onto his back. The bite is enough to rile the tom up into playful fighting mode. Mistoffelees can feel the other cat's pulse quicken beneath his mouth.

They wrestle and play as night fades and the sun emerges. For if it happens the sun is shining bright,

"You could say we have nothing to do at all," sings Rum Tum.

Mistoffelees confirms, "We are resting and saving ourselves to be right for the Jellicle moon,"

They both chirrup, "and the Jellicle Ball!"

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

_Moonlight, turn your face to the moonlight,_   
_Let your memory lead you; open up, enter in._   
_If you find there the meaning of what happiness is,_

_Then a new life will begin._

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

* * *

* * *

**/end**


End file.
